Welcome to our blog. That’s right, we have a blog
By now, we all know that GILM! is totally legitimate and everybody’s saying it, but did you know it is a book? Yeah, that’s right, it’s a book, by Brian Corley (of The Mars McClanes). Like to know more?
Here's a place to buy it: Amazon
Here’s a place where it has been reviewed: Kirkus Reviews
Hey everyone, Brian here.
A while back I wrote an earworm of a song I wrote that I kept sharing with friends, who kept responding that they couldn't get the damn thing out of their heads.
Like, they were practically mad about it.
So, that meant that I had to record it on a trip to visit Russ.
On the plane ride back, I thought it would be fun to write a short story for our blog to go along with the song. A story about a new kid who wishes he could write a song to impress a girl and fit into his new surroundings, only to have that wish go painfully awry, et cetera, et cetera, you know the deal.
Now, you may ask, why would you write a short story?
Because I also write books, go check out Ghost Bully by Brian Corley on Amazon or wherever you read things.
The short story got out of hand and tens of thousands of words later, I have a story bordering a word count between novella and novel. Cool right? Whatever.
Anyway, I’ve sent my draft over to my editor for the new project, and I’m simultaneously pleased and dissatisfied with the result. Which, believe it or not, is a good sign.
I love the premise of the story, but I'm frustrated with my inability to tell it in a way that measures up to the standard I'd like to put out there in the world.
Why is that good news? Well, I think it's good news because I'm still not done with the story, and I don't want to be done with the story--which may just mean that I have a good story to tell.
Alright, is everyone happy with this sloppy insight into my unhealthy mind?
Good.
So, to wrap up. The new book is in its finishing phases to be complete by September for a 2024 release with a corresponding single by The Mars McClanes.
Stay tuned for more details.
Hey, it’s your pals: The Mars McClanes. We’re hearing more and more people talk about AI and Chat GPT, so we thought we’d weigh in and talk about how we use it.
First off, ChatGPT is fun. You can ask it weird questions like “how long will it take for the sun to cool to room temperature?” You can have it describe Baylor’s 2023 football season using the plot of Beauty and the Beast as a template with Baylor as Belle and The University of Texas as Gaston. Or you can have it write up all your marketing and press releases.
It is perfect for marketing and press releases.
Chat GPT can do a lot of things, but its towering strength, by far, is marketing. It’s fantastic at corporate speak, understands the different types of templates out there, and can do it in a matter of seconds.
You’d think people who’d come together to form a band would love attention, and we do. But that doesn’t mean that we like creating press releases where we have to talk about ourselves. That’s weird. It feels braggy. It’s a stand on the table in the lunch room, look-at-me-everybody situation, and we don’t like that kind of attention. I don’t think.
Probably not, but anyway… with a dispassionate large language model doing all the heavy lifting, our consciences are clean.
Having it write lyrics is a bridge too far for us. We know Chat GPT can write them, but that’s kind of our thing. We pride ourselves on our point of view, or the character that we inhabit’s point of view. That’s our voice, and we won’t hand that over to software.
We’ve messed around with Dalle-2 for artwork but haven’t really found anything that we love or that looks presentable (outside of our DERRT playlist). So, right now, and for the foreseeable future, we’ll keep making our album artwork in Canva (Brian) or Powerpoint (Russ).
So, if we’ve pitched your playlist, mea culpa, we did it with the help of ai. We probably tailored it a little, but Chat GPT did most of the work.
If you’ve read this far, thanks, you’re the best. Drop us a line through email or Insta and let us know how you like to use AI.
So, we've been away from the ol' blog for a while. How've you been? We've been doing great, thanks for asking.
Our new single, a cover of Garbage's "Only Happy When It Rains," is out soon (May 12th). We have plenty of new material coming after that, but this particular track was something Russ and I recorded in his basement just for fun, and it turned out much better than we expected.
As part of the pre-release process, we send our songs to platforms like SubmitHub or Groover to receive feedback and attempt to break into Spotify playlists or music blogs. One question we were asked was, "Why is this track about misery so upbeat?"
Well, that's an excellent question.
We believe that when covering a song, there should be a reason for it. It shouldn't merely resemble the original with a different voice; otherwise, it's just karaoke, right?
So, here's why we decided to record this song:
1. Shirley Manson is an icon, and Garbage is one of our favorite bands. I mean, Butch Vig is in the band – are you kidding?
2. Brian lives in Portland. If you're not familiar with Portland, it rains a lot there. And by a lot, we're talking every day for six months a lot. This song is constantly on his mind.
3. We discovered a window into a more upbeat version. Sure, it's on-brand, but it also reflects how people present themselves to the world amidst their personal struggles. When someone asks how you're doing, you often say you're fine or even great, despite being buried in debt, fearful of losing your job, or having a sick pet.
You don't want to make others uncomfortable, so you put on a mask of happiness. The more turmoil in your personal life, the more elaborate the mask.
So, there you have it - our new release announcement. We did it, you guys!
Look, this isn't music related, but I'm going to say it. There needs to be a rogue grizzly in the next season of Yellowstone.
When we check back in at the Yellowstone Ranch, we find out that a bear has started taking down cattle one by one. After a few incidents, Rip and the boys investigate only to get away with their lives barely. Bullets seem to bounce off the monster, and the bear even got Jimmy's horse (that's right, I'm writing Jimmy back in this season).
As we all know, no one but no one messes with John Dutton's ranch, so he sets off to take the bear out himself. John finds the grizzly, but his gun jams, leaving him only one viable option--a stare-down. John wins the staring contest, and the two slowly part ways as equals.
Still, even though John respects the apex predator, there is only room for one alpha on the Yellowstone ranch, and he has no choice but to take the grizzly down.
Meanwhile, the New Yorkers are back trying to build another damn airport, thereby threatening the Montana way of life, and of course, The Yellowstone Ranch. John tasks Beth to make the initiative go away, so naturally, she starts buying land. But does she make a mistake when she buys the parcel containing the rogue grizzly's cave?
Attorney General Jamie Dutton knocks on Beth's door. The New Yorkers' property assessors keep disappearing. Does she know anything about that? Of course, she doesn't, but she doesn't say so and instead insults Jamie's baby momma until he starts to cry and storms out without closing any doors.
Beth floors it to the ranch where John Dutton is having lunch with Tate and Kacye while Rip runs the ranch because he's the only one around who actually works. "Daddy," Beth says. "Lot of them property assessors been disappearin around the site of the proposed airport." She pours herself an absurdly large glass of whisky. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would ya?"
John Dutton's eyes bulge like his guts were suddenly hit with the initial pangs of explosive diarrhea. Sure, it could be all the over-seasoned meat he eats, but it's not. He immediately knows the root cause.
The bear.
John excuses himself from the table, saddles a horse, and heads off into the wilderness to find the grizzly. Day turns into night, and gentle streams give way to stony mountains. John passes elk, deer, and even a wolf--but no bear.
Suddenly, the weather turns on John. His horse bucks, and he finds himself tumbling down the side of a hill. Dazed, John tries to get his bearings and finds himself outside of a large cave. He scrambles inside to shield himself from the rain, only to hear a low bubbling growl.
It's not diarrhea. It's the bear.
John tries to reason with the animal. "Hold on now, hold on," he says. He holds his hands out in front of him like he's calming a spooked horse, or talking Jamie down from something mean Beth said to him. "Now I know about you and the New Yorkers, I just want to talk."
The bear cocks his head and disappears.
John squints into the darkness of the cave, practically begging his eyes to adjust. He glances back toward the entrance before shaking his head and traveling deeper inside.
Before long, he comes to a round-topped oak table set for two. An oil lamp flickers above a lacey tablecloth. John unties a blue bandana from around his neck and wipes his face. He sits down and wonders why he came all this way instead of sending Rip. Rip would have a chance, and if he died, who cares? He's not a real Dutton anyway.
Footsteps command his attention. Two glasses hit the table, and the bear looms above him with a bottle of brown liquor. The bear pours two finger's worth in the glass in front of John and two for himself.
John cautiously sniffs his glass before tipping the brown liquid back. Instead of stinging, it slips down nice and quick, leaving a pleasant vanilla taste in its wake. It's whisky and some of the smoothest he's ever sampled. This bear knows his single-malt liquors.
The bear huffs a growl as he swirls the brown liquid in the glass between brief sips.
"You responsible for the missing New Yorkers?" John asks.
The bear says nothing, but if John didn't know any better, he'd think the bear was smiling at him.
"I'm glad you've had a chance to meet my friend," says Thomas Rainwater.
John Dutton's oldest frenemy emerges from the shadows in an elaborately embroidered blazer.
"I figured you might have had a hand in this," says John. He stares blankly ahead, hoping to hide his surprise.
Thomas Rainwater grins. The bear offers him the bottle of whisky. "None for me, thanks," Thomas says. "I'm driving."
The bear shrugs and sets the bottle down on the table next to the flickering lamp.
"Seems we all have a common enemy," Thomas says.
"Seems we do," says John. "What do you suppose we do about it? It's not like our friend here can eat all of them.
The bear roars like Chewbacca on a death star run.
"Can't he?" Thomas says.
"You mean to tell me he's going to eat every one of the men those investors send out here?" John asks.
"And women," says Thomas. "Don't be sexist, John. But there will be a price to pay, of course."
"A price," John says under his breath, "it figures." He plays with his empty glass. "OK, name it."
"Parcel 492, you know it?" Thomas asks.
"No," John says. "Don't think I do."
"Well, you own it."
"So."
"So? That's where we are right now. Beth bought his cave."
"I see," John says. "And he wants it back? Fine by me, you have yourself a deal."
Thomas and the bear exchange glances and share a grin. "Not so fast," Thomas says. "There's one more thing."
"Of course there is," John says. "Name it."
"He's going to want your backing for Governer of Montana."
"Always something, Thomas. It's always something. You think I can get a bear into the governor's mansion? There's no way, and especially not after he's eaten all those people."
"Hold on there John," Thomas says. "I didn't ask you to get him elected, we just want your endorsement, and as eating the New Yorkers, we're running on that as our platform."
"So, if I back your candidate for governor, they don't build the airport," John confirms.
"That's right," Thomas says. "And you get to keep the ranch the way it is."
"Alright," John says. He tips his empty glass toward the gubernatorial candidate, "Pour me another one."
The bear goes on to eat all of the New Yorkers who step foot in Montana. The Yellowstone Ranch is saved, and he goes on to win the governor's seat.
Later...
The camera pans into the Dutton's dining room. The table is surrounded by the entire family, along with Thomas Rainwater and Governor Bear.
"To Governor Bear," John raises his glass. "I'd say the Duttons owe you one, but now you are a Dutton."
Jamie looks confused.
"He's married your baby mama, Jamie," Beth says. "Your son is now his. This bear is as much a Dutton as you are." She downs her drink. "Hell, moreso."
Jamie runs from the room crying, and Beth starts making out with Rip. Everyone laughs, and the bear roars. It's the dawn of a new era on The Yellowstone Ranch.
We recently needed to revamp our bio for Spotify. Something short, funny, and in the first person. You can visit our profile over there to see what we landed on here: https://open.spotify.com/artist/7hFOw1ECbQ8KczYQ7Idsca
But we thought we'd share some of the stuff that didn't make it in this week's post. Special thanks to Lex Robertson of Dallas, TX for his contribution and inspiration. And now, with no further ado, the others:
Hi, we're the Mars McClanes, and we know karate!
Portland in the streets! La-da-dee-da-dee
Portland in the streets, Colorado in the other streets, and asleep in the sheets that we wash once a week because hygiene is important to us.
Hi, we're the Mars McClanes, and this is our first rodeo.
We're the MMC, and our greatest strength is writing bios. Followed by penmanship and good manners.
The Mars McClanes were an English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960 that comprised John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and Ringo Starr. They are regarded as the most influential band of all time and were integral to the development of 1960s counterculture and popular music's recognition as an art form.
I AM MARS MCCLANE. SEND ME THE ONE YOU CALL MEG RYAN.
Hi, we're the Mars McClanes, and we believe in magic in a young girl's heart
How the music can free her whenever it starts
And it's magic if the music is groovy
It makes you feel happy like an old-time movie
I'll tell you about the magic, and it'll free your soul
But it's like trying to tell a stranger 'bout a rock 'n' roll
If you believe in magic don't bother to choose
If it's jug band music or rhythm and blues
Just go and listen it'll start with a smile
That won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try
Your feet start tapping, and you can't seem to find
How you got there, so just blow your mind
If you believe in magic come along with me
We'll dance until morning till there's just you and me
And maybe if the music is right
I'll meet you tomorrow sorta late at night
And we'll go dancing baby, then you'll see
How the magic's in the music, and the music's in me
Yeah, do you believe in magic
Yeah, believe in the magic of the young girl's soul
Believe in the magic of a rock 'n' roll
Believe in the magic that can set you free
Ahh, talking 'bout the magic
Do you believe in magic?
(Do you believe like I believe?) Do you believe, believer?
(Do you believe like I believe?) Do you believe in magic?
(Do you believe like I believe?) Do you believe in magic?
So, we're the Mars McClanes, and we, like never do things like this, but our fans were like, "you have GOT to put yourselves out there," so… yeah! Send a DM if you're not a creeper, lol
We're the Mars McClanes, and our favorite font is Calibri. Get out of here with that Times New Roman shit, grandma.
We're the Mars McClanes, and we pronounce it gif.
We're the Mars McClanes, and we noticed you're missing a few shingles on your roof. Would you be interested in a free estimate?
Close your eyes. Inhale slowly. Exhale slowly. Visualize yourself walking into a sunny forest. Hey, we said close your eyes!
Should we change the “about” portion of the website to one of these? Let us know
To celebrate our latest release, Wherever You Go, we’ve compiled a Top Ten list of places to go
10. Crazy - but in a Prince and the Revolution way.
9. Tell it on the mountain - over the hills and everywhere. Special shout out to Colorado and Portland’s own Mt. Hood. I’m not going to tell it there, but you get the idea.
8. All systems - this is definitely what you want to here before lift off.
7. Hell - enemy specific.
6. To Texas - “You may all go to hell and I will go to Texas.” — Davy Crockett
5. Teen Titans - hands down the best theme song of any cartoon, maybe any show.
4. Cart - it’s dumb they won’t let you hit other cars on the track. Rubbin’ is racin’, if you’re not first, you’re last!
3. Rilla - no one knows how strong they really are. They get out in zoos all the time… facts.
2. Gurt - no explanation needed, but I’ll give you one anyway. Yogurt on the go.
1. Portland - go on, aggregate us, Fox News!
This week we’re doing our top ten sharks. Why? Because it’s summer, maybe? I don’t know.
10. Hammerhead - a real weirdo.
9. Bonnethead - just when you thought hammerheads were weird.
8. Card - never play poker with a man named Slim.
7. King - voiced by Sylvester Stallone and Ron Funches, we just can’t get enough. King Shark reigns supreme… at number seven.
6. Loan - be careful out there.
5. Mark Cuban - you better believe we’re there to pitch Cubes in the Tank.
4. Mama - do do do do do do
3. Baby - do do do do do do
2. Raiders of the Lost - just when you thought it was safe to appropriate another culture’s treasure.
1. Land - candygram… flowers?
Honorable mention:
Sharkira - her teeth don’t lie.
Sharkille O’Neal
Sharkuterie board
Sharka Khan
Alright, so you’ve taken 20-30 minutes to write a song every day, or maybe just once. It sounds pretty good, but like, is there a structure I’m going for?
Yes.
And no.
Here are some basic rules to writing a tune you might hear on the radio:
· Verse 1 – start with an interesting line. A lot of times these write themselves because it’s your way into the song as the writer. The listener will want to know what they’re in for. MMC examples would be “I got a riddle for you,” or “Sometimes wine turns to gin.”
· Chorus – this is usually where the title comes from, normally it’s the hook to the song. A good hook-y chorus has the listener singing along by the end of the first one. Chords and melody should be different to the verse.
· Verse 2 – if you’re telling a story, this is the continuation. Maybe it’s the same story as the first verse, but from a different point of view. Chords and melody are the same as the first verse.
· Chorus – same as the one before. The listener likes the verses, they’ve sat through the first two, but now the listener is excited… hey, I know this! They’re singing along the whole way through now.
· The Bridge (also known as the middle 8 or the breakdown). – Rhett Miller calls it “the vacation from the song,” and that’s probably the best I’ve heard it explained. In the breakdown, all the instruments drop out and it’s just drum and bass… maybe an errant horn here or there. In a stage show, this gives performers who can dance the space to do it. I’m not much of a dancer, though. Melody and chords are going to be different here. The bridge sounds completely different from the verses and chorus. Lyrically, this may be where you or your protagonist have a breakthrough in your way of thinking, possibly turning the chorus into an entirely different meaning the next time you sing it. Which is now.
· Chorus – it may sound really big if you broke down the bridge. A lot of pop songs play the chorus twice and then end.
That’s it, really. Those are the basics.
So, we’re done?
Nah, not really.
There are all sorts of caveats here. The structure above gives a template with built-in dynamics. Dynamics are important to a song so your listener doesn’t get bored. If your song’s melody is all the same for three minutes or so, your listener will get bored. Hell, maybe you’ll get bored.
The structure above gives the listener familiarity by repeating the melody of the verse two times along with the exact melody and words of the chorus three to four times. BUT those melodies are different and offer a dynamic. The listener’s ear is constantly hearing something different, and just when they think they have it figured out, BAM, you hit them with the bridge, which isn’t like anything they’ve heard in the song yet. Then, once they’re on their heels, BOOM, you hit ‘em with the chorus, and they’re excited because they’re like, I know this! I can sing along!
What about Gregorian chant, Brian?
Well, there it is. An exception. There are all sorts of exceptions to the rules, otherwise it would be boring to hear songs in this exact format, right? I don’t know, maybe.
A classic variation to the format above would be to add an outro. An outro could be one line from the chorus (the hook) sung over and over until the end. It could also be some other revelation repeated over and over. Wilco’s Shot in the Arm uses both techniques with: “Maybe all I need is a shot in the arm,” and “what you once were isn’t what you want to be anymore.”
They don’t even rhyme, but I am absolutely haunted by those lyrics.
And then there is the pre-chorus!
What’s the pre-chorus? Well, it could be a wordy part that uses the same (or different) chords as the chorus that precedes each chorus. A great example would be MUNA’s Anything but me:
“You say that you wanna change
Well, I hope you get everything you want
Everything you want
You say that you need relief
Well, I hope you get everything you need
Everything but me
'Cause I don't wanna stick around trying to work it out
When everything feels wrong
Everything feels wrong
But it's all love and it's no regrets, you can call me if
There's anything you need”
Then into the chorus
“Anything, anything but
Me, me, yeah-yeah
Me, me, yeah-yeah
Me, me, yeah-yeah
Anything you need
Anything but me”
MUNA may argue that it’s all one chorus, and they’d be right because it’s their song. In which case, I’d probably make the point that the hook is what I have diagrammed as the chorus. Sometimes you can do a tagline hook (like Haim’s “Lost Track”).
But maybe they’d agree with me, I don’t know. E-mail me?
A Mars McClanes example would be from a yet to be released track (depending on when you read this) “Wherever You Go”
Our pre-chorus is:
“You got a car
And I got a van
You got some friends
And I got a plan”
Into the chorus
“Wherever you go
I’ll be with you
Smiling back in your rearview
Wherever you go,
that’s where I’ll be
Dropping the I
and lifting the we”
***This is a good time to break from this blog if you’re satisfied, otherwise, I’m about to go into some minutia***
I was wondering if the prototypical song structure held up a couple of weeks ago, so I pulled from a handful of songs that were on the alternative charts. Here’s how it broke out:
MUNA – “Anything But Me” song length 3:30
These timestamps aren’t exact, just my measure at the time.
· Verse 1 – starts at 0:12
· Pre-chorus – 0:43
· Chorus – 1:23
· Verse 2 – 1:40
· Pre-chorus – 1:50
· Chorus – 2:30
· Bridge – 2:45
· Chorus (with elevation)
Haim “Lost Track” song length 2:22
· Verse 1 – 0:11
· Chorus – 0:34
· Hook (Never get back what I lost track of) – 0:55
· Verse 2 – 1:05
· Chorus – 1:25
· Hook – 1:50
· Hook repeat as outro - 2:20(ish)
See how there’s not a bridge? The song still works because it’s short, there’s still three types of dynamic (with the outro), and it’s Haim, they’re some of the best in the biz.
Soccer Mommy – “Shotgun” song length 4:10 (like a 410 shotgun, coincidence??)
· Verse 1 – 0:17
· Chorus – 0:47
· Musical hook (like Billie Eilish’s “Bad Guy” after “duh”) – 1:09
· Verse 2 – 1:21
· Chorus – 1:50
· Musical hook – 2:10
· Verse 3 – 2:29
· Chorus (2 times) – 2:55
· Musical hook – 3:30 to outro
Here’s another good example of a song without a bridge. However, the musical hook gives the song a third dynamic, and there’s plenty of build-up at the end with the double chorus and musical outro. Three verses are pretty standard in storytelling songs to match a three-act arc.
In my opinion, Robert Earl Keen wrote the perfect storytelling three verse format with “The Road Goes on Forever.” If you haven’t heard it, check out the version on No. 2 Live Dinner.
For MMC, we follow this format in a yet to be released (again, depending on when you read this) song, “Maybe Tonight.”
Welp, hope that helps.
There are rules to songwriting, and those rules can be broken. Songs for radio should be no more than three minutes and thirty seconds. Soccer Mommy clocks in at four minutes, ten seconds. None of the songs above follow the verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus (2x) pattern I described exactly, but they’re not that far off either.
Now, go spend some energy writing a song or an email telling me I have no idea what I’m doing. Just kidding, please don’t do the second thing.
Hey guys, Brian here. I started feeling symptoms of COVID on Monday and have been down most of the week. So anyway, here’s this week’s top ten…
10. Sore throat and a headache, huh, that’s peculiar.
9. Maybe I should get tested.
8. Maybe I should test again.
7. Maybe I should sleep.
6. That was a good three hour nap, let me see if I can beat it…
5. Huh, Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers has Mulaney in it? Might as well give it a shot.
4. Man, I kinda like Dave Letterman’s boots, I wonder what they are.
3. I think I’ll just rest my eyes for two and a half hours.
2. Oh, you only ate soup while you had COVID? Me too. (I’ve eaten so much junk food)
1. I can’t wait to go back to sleep.
Jeff Tweedy’s book How to Write One Song covers this ground really well, but if you’re curious about my process, or just want tips in tiny, blog-sized chunks, maybe this will be for you.
I tried to start writing songs in eighth grade before I’d even learned how to play guitar. They weren’t good, but I remember showing a friend a country song I’d written on an index card, and he didn’t think it was stupid.
Dear reader, it was.
Still, that only encouraged me. I went looking for guitar players to sing along with and, after a while, thought that I should probably learn how to play for myself if I really wanted to get into the whole songwriting game. It took a year or so before I tried my hand at songwriting again. I would try and fail, time and again, usually abandoning the song after the first verse.
“This is stupid,” I’d think, or “this isn’t good enough.”
I went about this for a few weeks, or months, I don’t remember, until finally, I thought, “it doesn’t have to be Shakespeare.”
That unlocked my first completed song. I don’t remember what the song was, so it probably wasn’t good, but I finished it. Up and to that point, I’d let the perfect idea of a song stop me from writing whatever I was capable of at the time.
Most people are bad at things before they’re good, and the only way to get better is to practice. So, step one in writing a song is simply to complete a song.
That’s it.
Maybe it will be good, maybe it won’t, but it will be done. Then you can start working on making it better or move on to the next one.
The important thing is to finish.
When I’m in songwriting mode, I give myself 20-30 minutes in the morning, afternoon, or evening (whatever consistent timeslot is available) and work on a song until it’s complete.
I tend to view songwriting like buying raffle tickets. The more you have, the better your odds are at winning (i.e. writing a good song).
Next Music Monday I’ll cover the mechanics of songwriting (structure, dynamics, and what chords go where).
Need something to talk about this week? Here are ten fun facts to get you started…
10. Frogs swallow with their eyes. https://www.burkemuseum.org/collections-and-research/biology/herpetology/all-about-amphibians/all-about-frogs
9. Clownfish all start as males and change their sex to female depending on who is bigger. That means in Finding Nemo, Marlin would have become Nemo’s mom on the trip back home. https://www.nature.com/articles/srep35461
8. Platypuses are venomous. Yeah, they’re weird (and amazing): https://www.livescience.com/27572-platypus.html
7. Darth Vader never actually says, “Luke I am your father” in The Empire Strikes Back. “ He just says, “I am your father. I could drop a link here or you could just go watch the movie again.
6. Vader is german for father. Darth Vader’s name is Darth Father, lol.
5. In the movie Cars, Lightning McQueen’s catchphrase is “ka-chow!” Fun fact: to date cars are not sentient and cannot talk.
4. No one likes Raisinets.
3. M&Ms are named after the guys that created them: Forrest Mars and Bruce Murrie. We thought it was important to drop a Mars fact into the list.
2. A day on Mars lasts 24 hours and 37 minutes: https://spaceplace.nasa.gov/days/en/ . Ok, why have one fun fact with the name Mars when you can have two?
1. No one knows why Dr Pepper is named that: https://drpeppermuseum.com/history/
Why does this band sound so Mars McClaney?
Russ plays a Fender FSR American Ultra Telecaster during frequent attempts to channel his inner Ken Bethea (Old 97’s). Occasionally, Russ grabs his Casio PG-380—basically an Ibanez-designed Stratocaster which Casio loaded with a MIDI pickup-driven 1987 synthesizer. Russ neglects the synth feature, but the PG-380 lets him dial in cherished The Last Drag-era tones of The Samples.
Next, Russ’ signal goes on this journey through Pedalboardia:
1. Polytune 3 mini (obligatory)
2. Xotic SP Compressor (noonish)
3. TC Sub ‘n Up (lightly buttered)
4. Digitech Ricochet (light wobbles to divebombs)
5. Fulltone OCD Germanium (like cocoa and a blanket)
6. EHX Mod 11 (vibe on lowest setting)
7. TC Pipeline (tremolo)
8. MXR Phase 95 (just a splash)
9. Xotic EP Booster (last stop in mono)
10. Strymon Iridium
11. TC Quintessence (harmonizer)
12. TC Mimiq (doubler)
13. TC Flashback (delay)
14. TC Hall of Fame (reverb)
Top Ten Subjects We Avoid in Songwriting
10) Gardening.
9) Hearing loss dangers inherent in headphone usage.
8) Empathy of our ex’s point of view on a break-up.
7) When it’s time to pull your hands back down from the air.
6) Extolling the virtues of cities other than the one we’re presently performing.
5) Overstating our wealth in the weeks leading up to April 15th of each calendar year.
4) Understating our material wealth to frequent users of dating apps.
3) Lemon Pledge.
2) Exact coordinates of where we hid the lost treasure of Ponce de Leon.
1) Amanda. She knows what she did.
Our second single, The Worriers, is out this Friday! Please prepare yourself and your weekend activities accordingly.
With a title like that, you’d think this post would be about writing, graphite, or something related to pencils, right? No. It was just the first thing that came to mind relating to the number two. Ok, the second, but whatever. Enough of this preamble.
Here.
We.
Go.
Top Ten Johns in Rock Music
10. Father John Misty – the father of all Johns.
9. John Legend – not sure if he’s considered rock, but he is a legend … it’s right there in the name. Seriously, love John Legend. Saw him in an airport once, very tall.
8. John Denver – a man so great, they named an entire city after him.
7. Jon Bon … not so fast, where’s that h? Sorry man, we’re going to have to bump you to another list.
7. John Frusciante – I don’t know man, I just like him. He’s great, the Chili Peppers are great. That’s about it.
6. Olivia Newton John – I got chills, they’re multiplying (Paul is a math professor)
5. John Coltrane – should probably be higher, but I’ve been making jokes and I don’t have one here.
4. John Mayer – great guitar tone, he has his own guitars… and The John Mayer show on MTV was legit funny
3. Elton John – a last name that’s not even his name, but what am I going to do, he’s Elton John and Olivia already established the last name thing.
2. Dr. John – he was a doctor, for godssakes
1. John Lennon – come on, you knew this was coming.
We have to start somewhere, so here we are. Please enjoy our first blog post.
10) Brian, don’t do this.
9) Russ, this is an easy format, it will be great. Trust me.
8) This isn’t Buzzfeed - Russ
7) Not yet - Brian
6) Radiohead - Paul
5) See? Paul gets it - Brian
4) Whatever, I don’t want to leave out anyone, there are so many good bands - Russ
3) It’s fine, they’ll never read this - Brian
2) What if we just skipped the blog idea? - Russ
1) The Cars